In every story there is darkness, in every darkness there is light.
My story has had plenty of darkness but today, yesterday, it was literally light. My dad had texted me the night before because I was disparing again about the adoption process and he wrote me this simple but perfect message;
Yesterday I tore down the reflective sun blocks on all of the windows, flung open the curtains, and freed us from the cave we've been living in since the heat wave. And in the afternoon light, I sat on my yoga mat breathing in the newness, the space in my body for light and power and strength and watched the gentle away as the curtains blew aside to let in the sweet afternoon air. And I new that something is coming. Something is already here.
Then this morning I awoke to the buzzing sound of the cicadas in the trees and the soft snoring of our lab Coleman in his bed on the floor and the first thing I did was open the doors in our bedroom and stumble out into the new air of the morning. I had kissed Nick goodbye a little earlier, gotten the much needed morning sleep that is my only time undisturbed by his restless legs, and looked across at our morning glories, blooming now. They will be ready to close this afternoon and the vine will look like nothing but moonflower will open somewhere to compliment the glory of the morning and life will go on.
That is what I feel today, each stage of my life has been like a differs flower blooming and with the pain of that flower closing up has come the stretching, brightening, lightening joy of life in another garden. We just have to see it. We just have to find it.
Today I hope that no matter where you are, you feel the blooming and stretching and light of growth and passion and you believe that you are in the right place. In the common but painful event that you are not, I ask you to do this:
Set a timer and close your eyes for one full minute with a smile on your face. It doesn't matter if you weren't planning to smile or didn't feel like it, just let your face, your eyes, your cheeks, and then finally your lips form a smile in a wuiet place with your eyes closed and find out what you see. Work hard in your mind to see the metaphorical garden where you know you're meant to grow. Let yourself see the beautiful place you believe you will bloom, and once you have it, rest in that place.
Let it become part of you. Let that new light and life show itself to you and let yourself become such a part of it that when you open your eyes, it will not leave you. Be free.
Lots of Love,
To Learn more about Dr. Thompson or download his music legally, click on the links below. Enjoy!
It's also just a generally calming set of tracks that will take you away from wherever you are, if even just for a while. I know that with chronic illness and chronic pain, the ability to be somewhere else other than the cage of our bodies is sometimes the most valuable thing on earth and it allows us to move on to the next moment in life and stay here with our loved ones as long as possible.