That is the funny thing about chronic illness or disability, it's not always about getting better; it's about getting better at dealing with it.
So two days ago I had one of those milestones. I had made a mistake and missed a critical pain medicine when I was organizing my prescriptions and supplements for the week and for three days I functioned. Let me say that again. For three days, I functioned. On. My. Own. I dealt with the pain on my own, I lived without that help.
Such a thing never would have been possible a year ago when I was diagnosed, or even six months ago in my recovery! Eventually, I did realize what had gone wrong because I was barely walking by the end of day three and had lost six pounds. Digestion had become too painful and so I wasn't able to eat anymore.
But I look at those 72 hours and I say, "Yes! Hell yes!" If I am able to get three days now, maybe three years from now I will be able to get a week. And what an incredible thing that would be, a week of just being me.
I miss her, you know. That woman I once was. But I am becoming another kind of woman and I am proud of her too. She wakes up every day and the first thing she says is, Thank you. Thank you to the universe and God and nature. Thank you to love and our little family and our home. Thank you to my body and my soul for waking up another morning and going with me on this journey.
And thank you to my readers. You are my strength. You are my wisdom. You are my goals and my reasons and my relief. I've said it before as a teacher and a caseworker and a kid in band class, and now I say it as a writer; Art saves lives.
This art has saved my life. Creating these words has given me a reason for being on days when I did not want to be. Art saves lives.
So today, wherever you are in your life, try to create a little something you are proud of. Love is an art. Physical achievement is an art. Volunteering is an art as well. May we all be artists today.
Lots of Love,